A Place They Want To Be

If you want someone to be and stay in your life, you must make your life a place they want to stay. This means making sure they have what they need emotionally, and physically. This is one of the most basic relationship rules and needs not being met are a large reason people leave relationships.

So how do you make your life a place someone wants to be? For starters you must make them feel wanted, cherished, appreciated. For instance, do you listen to your partners needs? Can they come to you and discuss even sensitive topics without negative consequences? Do you treat them with kindness and care? Are you emotionally available to them?

You will not know what your partner needs until you start listening and not just with your ears. You must pay attention to their moods, facial expressions, body language even. All these things will tell you what you need to know, and if you don’t know – ask. Simply ask what you can do to meet their needs and take notes!

It is also very important that you make the relationship a safe place for your partner. They need to know that they can talk to you and speak their minds without negative ramifications like being yelled at, made to feel guilty or getting into a fight. When your partner feels safe to come to you it opens up many levels of trust and communication.

Another way to make sure your life is where your partner wants to stay is to make them feel valued in the relationship. This can be done in many ways including simply telling them how much you appreciate them. Remember though, actions speak louder than words and if you want them to believe it, you must also follow through with actions to prove it. Do little things for them like fill up their car with gas, give them the TV remote, cook their favorite dinner, or hold their hand.

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The Importance Of Honesty In A Relationship

Trust is the basis of any healthy relationship and once trust has been violated the stability of a relationship becomes suspect. But why is trust so important in a relationship? How can honesty make or break a relationship.

To understand what honesty means to a relationship you must first understand what it means to be in a relationship. Relationships are about commitment. The big “C” word is known to send the occasional person running, but it’s a lot less oppressive than it sounds. Commitment means being true to the ideals the relationship was built on. Whether it’s always being there for a friend or staying true to a lover, commitment is simply meeting the expectations you’ve set going into a relationship.

So let’s say you’ve broken a promise, harmless enough right? Well when you break a promise a lot more happens than either of you may realize. Before you broke that promise they knew with certainty that everything you promised to do would get done. Whether it was as mundane as taking out the trash or as important as keeping secrets told to you in confidence, you could always be counted on to deliver. But once you’ve broken that promise it casts doubt on your ability to keep your word. When it’s as mundane as no longer being trusted to take out the trash when asked the effects seem inconsequential, but when you’re no longer trusted with personal information you can see what impact trust can have on a relationship.

So how does one maintain trust in a relationship? Well, while keeping promises is very important, remaining honest is just as crucial to a relationship going the distance. Relationships thrive on the ability to take each other’s words at face value. Couples can’t spend every second of every day together so it’s important to leave no room for doubting each other’s commitment during these times of separation. This way each can go out with their friends or colleagues without worrying what the other may be doing and if either feels a even a twinge of doubt a track record of complete honesty goes a long way to setting their mind at ease.

Honesty isn’t always easy and there is more than a little temptation to tell ‘white lies’ to avoid conflict, but the long-term benefits of complete honesty far outweigh avoiding the friction caused by an unpopular response.

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